On a lazy Sunday afternoon, there’s not much better than hearing your five-year-old spontaneously tell you that she loves you. Of course, it could have been buying her an ice cream cone that prompted it, but I’ll take what I can get. It’s not buying someone’s affection if you didn’t plan on it, is it?
Santa Claus, Literary Criticism, and Other Myths
If a writer gives you a story and asks for your honest opinion, he doesn’t really want your honest opinion. Actually, he does want your honest opinion, but only if it begins with the words, “This is the best story I’ve read in my life . . .” Or, slightly more risky, the opinion could be modified with “one of the best stories,” which while not preferred is at least acceptable. Otherwise, no, he doesn’t want your honest opinion. If you have to lie, that’s all right. We lie to children about Santa Claus. Telling writers what you think of their work is sort of in the same category. You should be spreading hope and good cheer. You don’t want to take Santa Claus away from a writer, do you? That’s a very crummy thing to do.
Dispatches from the Frontlines of Fatherhood: Shoe-lace Panic
My five-year-old can’t tie her shoes. This didn’t bother me until she informed me that all of her friends can tie her shoes. Then I spent most of the morning worrying that I’ve failed her as a father because she can’t tie her shoes. She’s going be thirty years old and on her way to accept a Pulitzer Prize but then her shoe laces will come undone and she won’t be able to do anything about it, so she’ll sit down on the curb and sob about her lack of good parenting, which will make her miss out on a Pulizter Prize. These things matter.
Dispatches from the Frontlines of Fatherhood: Receiving Compliments
I had to explain to Kat, my five-year-old, that “I know” is not the best response to a compliment. But that got me thinking. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could say “I know” when someone complimented you without looking like a jackass? I mean, if you feel proud of something, why do you have to show all this false humility? The things you can get away with in kindergarten . . .